Continuing Life

Just waiting for me

Good morning  I have a project. Crummy photo, but still, it’s there on my desk waiting for me to begin. It’s been there for a few months. I can’t seem to pick it up. But it’s going to be a necklace that I am anxious to have, so I’m sure I’ll start it soon.

This grieving thing is a bit like living in a fog. I can see things. I can do things. But everything seems disconnected to me. I talked with a counselor yesterday, and while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, apparently I’m fairly normal. It takes time. And I have plenty of that. Sometimes, too much. I can’t seem to help thinking about the last six months. They were very difficult, but now it seems like they flew by.

After Jerry’s surgery for his brain cancer and after the radiation and chemo, the MRI showed that the cancer was no longer there. How can that be when he died just four months later? I wish I could stop thinking about those six months and instead think about the last 22 years.  We had great fun. I’m so grateful for those years and so grateful that I knew and loved Jerry. I’ll take the pain that comes with loss. I wouldn’t change anything.

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2 thoughts on “Continuing Life

  1. Luann,
    It is wonderful to hear from you and get an update on how you are doing. I have thought of you many times and haven’t known how to get started to communicate with you or what to say. I can only express that my heart aches for what you and Jerry went through and what you deal with daily with him being gone. I look forward to playing some bridge with you this fall. Take care and be strong. Ellen

  2. Hi Ellen. It was so good to hear from you. I think of you often, and your thoughtfulness. It turns out that I’m not nearly as strong as I would have thought. But I am feeling a little better every day. I’d love to play some bridge with you when you return. Anytime. I am getting out and doing that. Also, getting a lot of things done around the house that have been neglected for a year or more. As Gail keeps telling me, one foot in front of the other. You take care too. Luann

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